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This video summary was created using Kapwing. I have begun recording full-length videos and will work backward over time to update these videos.
Why read this post?
Everyone struggles to make decisions sometimes.
In a world with increasing complexity, making a decision is getting more confusing.
I believe we can make better decisions by asking ourselves different questions.
Instead of asking how or what, I believe we need to be asking ourselves why.
By focusing on our own why’s, we will align our decisions to what we want even when we are overwhelmed.
Below I explore my why, how I got there, and how you can find your own.
After many failures, I persevere because my decisions are aligned with my core why.
We can make better decisions when we understand our why so I invite you to find yours with me!
And now to the conversation...
How do I make a decision?
The question should be why do I make a decision?
Why?
Because your reason tells you about the intended outcome.
Then you know what you are aiming for because you know why you are aiming for it.
Couldn't I focus on what my goal is?
What if achieving the goal doesn't help achieve why the goal was set?
For example, your goal is to stop the pain so you take a painkiller.
The pain stops temporarily but returns because you have an issue only doctors can fix.
You achieve your goal of stopping the pain, but you didn't solve why the pain exists.
So how do we know why?
We ask ourselves and others why.
As we understand the root whys, decisions become aligned.
A few whys will steer many whats.
Maybe an example will help…
Let's discuss me as an example.
I used to try to make money doing something I'm interested in so I could have a stable family.
That was how I made all of my decisions, but I was unhappy.
The decisions weren't getting the results I expected.
I assumed that making money doing something I'm interested in would lead to a stable family life.
All of my decisions were misaligned because I was focused on what instead of why.
As I asked myself why, I actually found my stable family goal changing too.
I realized that it was also a what.
So why did I want a stable family?
Because I wanted to share experiences and help future humans.
And why was that?
Because I appreciated the people that had done that with and for me.
I realized that I don't need a specific family to do this at all.
I wasn't missing my target, I was aiming at the wrong one.
That reason sounds very vague. How does that help you?
It clarified direction so I could focus on sharing experiences and helping future humans.
It is why this website and blog were created.
It is also how I determine other life decisions like the full-time work I do.
For example, I prefer a job that engages with many people because I want to share experiences.
It helps me decide how I spend my free time.
For example, I prefer to be around people over being alone because I prefer to share experiences.
It helps me make decisions politically.
For example, I am a big believer in free speech because it is how we share genuine experiences.
And it even helps me make financial decisions.
For example, I would spend money to share an experience over buying something for myself.
Perhaps more importantly, it helps me when I am at my worst.
What do you mean?
Some decisions need to be made instinctively because they are too fast.
Sometimes we get overwhelmed, stressed, angry, sad, or emotional.
Other times we are tired, unhealthy, or otherwise impaired.
How do people make decisions in those moments?
They fall back on their foundation, their fundamentals, their whys.
Why does someone decide to risk their life?
They believe that something is more important than their life.
Why does someone decide to lie?
They believe that something is more important than the truth.
The subconscious takes over and our core beliefs steer.
Knowing your core reasons helps align any decision so ask yourself... Why am I...?
Can you help me find my why?
I can try!
Remember that I am not you so you’ll need to answer on your own!
What energizes you? Consider Positives and Negatives!
Why do you believe they have that effect? Consider Each Individually!
Why do you believe in those reasons? Create Groups of Reasons!
Which reasons are most important? Rank Groups of Reasons!
Why are they most important?
Is there ANYTHING you wouldn’t sacrifice for those reasons?
If so, then why would you protect it? Apparently, that reason is more important!
Keep asking yourself why until you find the reason you’d put above anything!
How do I use my why to make decisions?
Let’s start with a scary one for many… What do you want to do for work?
Start with your Why am I… ?
How would you do that for others? That’s Your Vision.
What would that look like in 5 years? That’s Your Goal.
What Strengths, Weaknesses, and Experiences do you already have? Those Are Your Resources.
What are you missing and need to obtain or develop? Those Are Your Objectives.
What organizations, roles, and compensation would help you? That’s Your Project.
How will you find opportunities that fit those requirements? Those Are Your Tasks.
From why, you now have a vision, a goal, resources, objectives, a project, and tasks.
And all of those are aligned with your original reason!
I can’t say the journey will be easy, but at least you know why you did it!
I appreciate your time and hope this was helpful!
To help organize your thoughts, below are worksheets you could duplicate!
Why am I...?
Sheet Template & Taylor’s Example
Doc Template & Taylor’s Example
What do you want to do for work?
Sheet Template & Taylor’s Example
Doc Template & Taylor’s Example
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Summary of the Conversation
- How do I make a decision? The question should be why do I make a decision?
- Why? Because your reason tells you about the intended outcome.
- Couldn't I focus on what my goal is? Those two things might not be aligned.
- How do we know why? We ask ourselves.
- For example… I was aiming at the wrong target for a long time.
- How does it help to know why? Guides many decisions even when you’re at your worst.
- What do you mean? The subconscious steers in many situations because the conscious can’t.
- How do I find my why? Ask questions to find out the most important thing(s).
- How do I use my why? Use it to determine a vision, a goal, objectives, a project, and tasks!
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Apply it!
- Confirm or Find Your Why → Ask yourself questions like the above. Try a Worksheet! Why am I...? || Sheet Template & Taylor’s Example || Doc Template & Taylor’s Example
- Confirm Your Vision → Make sure the vision you are marching towards is aligned. Try a Worksheet! What do you want to do for work? || Sheet Template & Taylor’s Example || Doc Template & Taylor’s Example
- Check Your Decisions → Review how your current decisions are aligned with your why.
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Credits and Sources
Thank you to Everyone who has helped!
3rd Party Links in Order of Appearance
- None
Writing Influences & Inspirations
- Conversations with countless friends, family, and acquaintances.
- Breaking Points - Connected current events to ideologies that people fall back on. It made me question my own ideology and aim to write it out.
- Searching For a Reason by Dax (Music)
Explore My Influences for Context for more influences
Multimedia Credits
- Written - Written by me, Taylor Polchinski
- Audio-only - Written and produced end-to-end by me, Taylor Polchinski
- Video - Written and produced end-to-end by me, Taylor Polchinski, using Kapwing.
- Worksheets - Created end-to-end by me, Taylor Polchinski
- Why am I...? || Sheet Template & Taylor’s Example || Doc Template & Taylor’s Example
- What do you want to do for work? || Sheet Template & Taylor’s Example || Doc Template & Taylor’s Example. Christopher Aman (LinkedIn) assisted in overhauling the initial structure to increase the sheet’s effectiveness.
- Charts / Infographics - There are none embedded.
- Tweets - ALL of the embedded Tweets were researched AFTER the writing of this post to enhance the reading experience.
- Memes - ALL of the Memes embedded were created using free credits from Supermeme.ai.
Other Read My Mind posts linked in this post
- None
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What's Next...
- Subscribe for FREE updates! → Pro-tip: Automatically sort the emails into a folder for reading later with Rules in Gmail, Outlook, or iCloud Mail. I use them to keep my inboxes as close to zero (0) as possible all the time!
- Another Article → Contents of My Mind (aka Table of Contents) has all of the articles and worksheets!
- Help Us Grow? → 1) Share the post with people who would appreciate it; 2) Submit the Community Interest Form
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!! CHALLENGE MY MIND !!
If you have any thoughts, questions, or other feedback, I would love to hear it! Please submit it via the Feedback form and I will see how I can incorporate it!
To see how feedback has impacted the blog, check out Feedback from the Community.
To see how feedback has impacted this specific post, check out the Update Log.
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Update Log
- Overhauled blog structure including adding sections - November 3, 2023 (Feedback from Lorraine Polchinski, Corey Betancourt, and Chris Aman led to restructuring and additions)
- Updated Several Links - July 9, 2023
- Added Worksheets - July 6, 2023
- Originally published - June 16, 2023
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